Abe Lincoln and Vulnerable Leaders

Abraham Lincoln was the 16th president of the United States. He was viewed as a strong, reliable leader and that tall, bearded man with his top hat is what people think of when they hear about Honest Abe. However, this seemingly masculine man has another side to him that many are unaware of. Abe was, in fact, clinically depressed. He was vulnerable, sad suicidal, and even seemingly wrote the Lincoln suicide soliloquy, published in 1838, along with many others. Even his law partner, William Herndon, stated that “his melancholy dripped from him as he walked.”

As leaders, such as Abe, it can be challenging to express vulnerability, depression, anxiety, or sadness because, after all, people are relying on you. As a leader, you feel that you are wasting time on your personal issues and taking away from others when they need you the most. But the reality is that, as much as people like to hide or shrug these emotions off, they are there, and vulnerability can be considered a good thing.

Depression and Evolution

When you are depressed, it is seen, from an evolutionary standpoint, as a way to foster societal growth and optimally dissect complex issues. As much as it does not feel like it, depression is there for a good reason and serves a fundamental purpose in life. Depression is not an accident, and it most certainly is not a flaw. Backed by science, the 5HT1B receptor in the brain binds the serotonin, preserving it by nature in every culture. This proves that this is an intentional mechanism linking to humans getting something beneficial out of feeling depressed.

When people are depressed, they isolate, just like Abe did. They lose interest in activities and like to be alone. This means that depressed people can silently take their problems and break them down, just thinking about them since they abandoned all other areas of their life. This "shutdown" feature (also referred to as dwelling) gives depressed people the ability to really analyze problems, chunk them up and break them down. They go into what is called a rumination mode, being slow, persistent, and ultimately giving them the ability to have sound judgment over someone who is not depressed. From an evolutionary point of view, humans who are depressed can resolve issues better than those who are not depressed because they can see the problem without rose-colored glasses.

However, if not controlled, depression can spiral and can take over personality, such as it did with Abe.

Myth: Vulnerability Is A Weakness

As noted before, depression is there on purpose, according to two scientists who talk more about this in their Depression's Evolutionary Roots article, but it is also tied strongly with vulnerability. Depression can actually stem from being vulnerable, but it does not have to be a bad thing. For instance, according to a Ted Talk by Brene Brown, vulnerability is quote "the core of shame, and fear, and struggle for worthiness. But it is also the birthplace of joy, creatively, belonging, and love."

You see, vulnerability is what makes us real, honest, and authentic. It helps us connect with others on a deeper level and should be leveraged to build strong relationships with others and feel human. In summary, it makes you more likable and should be viewed as a superpower rather than a flaw.

On the flip side, yes, vulnerability can be a catalyst for depression. As mentioned before, depression is not always a bad thing either, as long as you keep it under control and seek help if you feel like things are taking a turn for the worse. When you start feeling that you are not worthy in the middle of a depressive, vulnerable state, that is when it can get detrimental, and you should seek help.

Masculine Expectations

Is it okay for men to cry? The internet tends to have mixed feelings on this one. Overall, everyone should be able to express themselves in any way they need to. But is there a reason why people like Abe Lincoln, as sad as he was, still shocked people by his depression? Yes, because he was a man and a leader. In that time period, men were not viewed as people who showed emotions or illuminated sadness. Abe went through horrible life circumstances, such as losing 3 out of his 4 sons, his mother died of Milk Sickness, and the love of his life was killed by Typhoid Fever, but was expected not to show his sadness.

In today's day and age, men and women are still seen differently, and there is an actual biological reason why women tend to cry more than men, aside from hormones. For instance, women have shallower tear ducts and more prolactin than men. This means men can hold in more tears than women can when sad. Furthermore, women are often under the microscope more often in their life at an early age. From hitting puberty sooner and pregnancy are all things that land them at the doctors sooner, where they can get diagnosed with depression while screening for other things.

On the other hand, men are not typically in that close of contact with doctors and often contribute their depression to other circumstances, such as work stress. This also happened to women later in life as well, when they are not under doctor radars anymore.

Steps for Getting Professional Help

Though Abe was clearly depressed, he has a support system that tried to help him the best they could. His friend saw him as an intense self-studier, and they feared that he would study himself insane or commit suicide. Because of that, they monitored him like the weather. There was even a time in 1835 when Abe was walking in the woods with a gun, and an older couple took him in to keep him safe. This is the kind of support people need. The kind where they are open to talk to, be around, and can help pull you out of a harmful mindset. If you are like many who do not have this ideal support system, here are some helpful resources you can contact:

Telehealth - Internet outreach resources that can be cheaper and just as effective as in-house appointments. A great one to try is www.goodtherapy.org.

Non-Emergency Groups - www.ADAA.org is another non-emergency resource where you can find someone to help you by filtering through your demographics and narrowing down a person for you to speak with.

Suicide Prevention - If you are feeling suicidal, call 1-800-273-8255 immediately for help. Or, you can use the webchat as well at  www.suicidelifeline.org/chat.

Final Thoughts

Vulnerability can be a superpower if you let it. Use it to your advantage to create wonderful life connections and be an honest, raw human. If you are depressed, realize that it is serving you a purpose and actually trying to help you sort through issues.

However, if you are feeling overwhelmed, do not wait to seek help. The sooner you get help, the better. Do not wait until it is too late to the point where you feel like suicide is the only option. You matter, you are worthy, and when you seek help from the right people, you will make it through this challenging time. Remember, you are not alone, and even people like Abe Lincoln, an American idol, was depressed and needed help too.

Written by Todd Lemense presented by Joe Anthony