191 - Helicopter Parenting vs Free Ranging
If hovering over your kids turns them into model citizens, then why do so many helicoptered adults turn out fragile and anxious?
This wee we take a hard look at helicopter parenting—the modern phenomenon of hovering over kids like a Secret Service detail—and its polar opposite, free-range parenting. We start with a story about Todd’s sister, who watches her newborn sleep like a military guard on night duty. This leads us to a bigger question: has our obsession with safety made us worse parents? What if all this surveillance is actually making our kids less prepared for the real world?
Then, we explore real-world examples of parents who went to extreme lengths to protect their kids—from designing their environment to maximize success from birth, to micromanaging every moment of their day. We’ll also shift gears and look at the free-range movement, led by Lenore Skenazy, who became internet famous after letting her nine-year-old ride the New York subway alone. Lenore was labeled “The World’s Worst Mom” by news media, but was she really? What if the studies uphold Lenore’s radical views, or suggest that free-range kids might actually be better at managing risk, making decisions, and dealing with failure?
Finally, we get into the psychology of resilience. Why are kids who experience controlled risk—like riding a subway alone or being left to figure out their own problems—better at handling life’s curveballs? Does helicopter parenting actually sabotage a child’s ability to grow into a self-sufficient adult? And if spending quality time with kids is proven to raise their grades, then how do we strike a balance between being overprotective and being negligent?
Links:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10106685/
https://nheri.org/research-facts-on-homeschooling/
https://www.freerangekids.com/why-i-let-my-9-year-old-ride-the-subway-alone/
https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2018/06/helicopter-parenting
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9176408/
https://www.amazon.com/Nurture-Assumption-Children-Revised-Updated/dp/1439101655